Westworld Recap Rap (Season 1)

[Verse 1]
Bounce into the Wild, Wild West with a hardcore narrative
A family vacation spot guaranteed to scare the kids
Pick your hats and pack that Cialis
'Cause Disney's Frontierland installed a F*** Palace
Delos Developers deliver on the wishes
Then Reveries develop an embarrassment of glitches
Cyborgs with a broken code generator
Turning vengeful and violent
Have they seen Terminator?!
Headstrong Bernard, he concerned but ain't startled
Loyal as Dr. Hannibal's replacement for Arnold
IPad swiping working hard behind the scenes
Keeping quality assurance with his awesome robo-peen [SPOLIER!]
Sweet Dolores, cute girl from the ranch
Keeps Teddy on the hook by luring him in with her cans
She wouldn't harm a fly but it all depends
Did you say: "These violent delights have violent ends?"
But knowing this, would you still wanna go?
'Cause this ain't how I wanna spend my PTO

[Chorus]
Who would spend a holiday here?
TripAdvisor tell you: stay clear
I would bet it's privy to
Disparate Yelp reviews
What, with all the death
Scary images
Ever-looming threats
Unprotected sex
If I had to guess

[Verse 2]
The M.I.B., no need for a nametag
Trying to solve a puzzle off an Applebee's placemat
A V.I.P. and a man of sick pleasures
Like choosing to wear all black clothing in the desert
Maeve wakes up to her effed up predicament
Threatens nerdy nurses levels up intelligence
If she wants to find the truth and her maybe daughter
She'll have to bone Hector and always make it hotter
Dolly rolls with Big Willie, stylin' in his white hat
Such a goody two-shoes; he won't always be like that [SPOILER!]
Blast reenactors, leave behind the dick-in-law
All aboard the love train, ride him like a Rick-a-shaw
Ford pulls a Draper, keeps a secret fam
Turns out Bernard is more machine than man [TWIST!]
Gentle lovers no more as Bernie head bashes
But if he's a robot, why does he needs glasses?
There's neither R nor R anyway
Who needs a getaway where you have to yell "run away!"?

[Chorus]
If you got the cheddar to spend
Maybe take a chiller weekend
Beaches can be pretty good
Or camping in the woods
Bali's a good time
Iceland would be fine
Tuscany for wine
Russian wintertime
Wouldn't have the stress

[Verse 3]
Elsie fails hard, gets an "A" for effort
Security is headed by— I guess the third Hemsworth?
And Valkyrie heads up the Board of Directors
And that's all I have to say about those people...
Willie goes dark, makes Logan ride bareback
Dolores finds the church but isn't certain when or where at
She's in two timelines!
Open up your face hole!
Will's the Man in Black! [TWIST!]
Now without a face mole
Facility shootout with the two host tandem
Headwound Bernie tries to figure out what happened
Turns out he was Arnold and he made Dolores cap him
And Teddy's still out there just being handsome
Bernie tells Maeve to get out like Peele
Coulda left it all behind, but thinks her fake daughter's real
Dolores pops Ford and the fancy-dressed guests
Willie begins his sick pursuit of happyness
It's a complicated tale, but if there's one thing we've learned
This is all we got until Game of Thrones returns