The Incredibles Recap Rap

[Verse 1]
Take it back to the glory days
The 60s in a vague way
This super man is super buff
Although he must skip leg day
Hero of the city
From treed cats
To bomber mimes
He can't compartmentalize
He always says
"I've still got time"
Barely makes his nuptials
To bae with stretchy powers
They were recently sweating
In skintight suits
They could use a shower
When he prevents a suicide
Perception gets reversеd
Then it starts
A string of lawsuits
'Cause humans are thе worst
Now he's grinding 9 to 5
Tucked away in a cubicle
Endures his boss
Whose managing style's
"Inconceivable!"
Civilian life just ain't for him
Takes it out on his car
Once on top, Incredible
Is now just Mr. Parr
Kids have their own issues
Like hormonal Sue Storm
Bart Simpson Flash
And a future terror newborn
Helen keeps her cool
And you could say fantastically
While Bob is on the precipice
Of American Beauty Tragedy
Fun for the family
Have a laugh with your kids
And try to ignore
How truly messed up
This family really is

[Chorus]
All their origins are mysteries
And why don't the children
Have the same abilities?
Are they mutants?
Are they radioactive
Products of government tests
Brainwashed to be a family?
Are they cancerous?
IN-CREDI-BLES!

[Verse 2]
Reliving the glory days
With Samuel L. Iceman
Lying to their wives and
Going on weekly night scans
Reignite their lust for life
As anonymous saviors
Commendable but parallel
To adulterous behavior
Stalked by a dame
Who lures Bob into the fray
She calls him late at night
And invites him to her place
To eat dinner one on one
And experiment physically
In a onesie with a robot
Is this ok for the kids to see?
CrossFit training
Where Bob gets back on track
Quality time with the kids
Gets Elastic in the sack
New car, sharp suits
Bob's got it figured out
So the basic key to happiness
Is lying to your spouse
Take the ripped suit to E
A.K.A. androgynous Q
The sassy genius lovechild
Of Linda Hunt and Mugatu
Hooks Bob up
With a palette swap
And now he lives the high life
Shrimp and mimosas
But yo dud, maybe tell your wife
Look, they made it obvious
They're blunt about that theme
But take away all their powers
Ain't no Norman Rockwell scene

[Chorus]
Like when my mother
Sat me down one time
She said, "Daddy won't...
...come back tonight...
...'cause he's out fighting crime"
It took me years to realize
That we were just abandoned
The Incredibles!

[Verse 3]
Back in the glory days
A puberty-stricken super nerd
Almost blew up everyone
And his feelings got super hurt
Resentment rose like his hair
He calls himself Syndrome
Built an evil expensive lair
But seriously
With what income?
For years, been killing supers
As a masterful technician
His sentient orbs got
Guns and razors
Cute science fair submission
But the fam's en route
To save dad
Flying high up in a G6
Find a bunch of ways
To cheat death
'Cause apparently Dash is Jesus
Helen finds Bob in Mirage's arms
Because come on, of course
To keep this family together
They must use excessive force
The real fight's in Metropol-ish
Where Syndy rigged it all
Then cram the fam into an RV like
More dysfunctional Griswolds
Frozone joins the family fight
I guess not any others
Save the day, no injuries
In spite of the infrastructure
But Syndy's babysitting
Jack-Jack's powers go berserk
Then Syndy's sucked
Into a turbine
The death that he deserved?
Yet life continues
The kids pursue their passions
A maniac emerges
From the underground
They just don their
Matching fashion
And family is important
I hear that message perfectly
But I'd recommend
Their quality time
Be spent in family therapy