Batman v Superman Recap Rap

[Verse 1]
'Member Bruce Wayne? (Who?)
Y'all forgot?
He fell down a well then his folks got shot
But with billions in cash he gets along somehow
By dressing like a bat and brandin' thugs like cows

'Member Clark Kent?
Across the bay in Metropolis?
A dork in his glasses but hot when he's top-a-less
Gentle with his coworker, Lois Lane
Yet he plowed through a city like a hurricane

As Superman, 'member?
He mistakenly killed a bunch of Wayne employees
And Bruce wasn't thrilled
And hе wants revenge
Wе know the moment is arriving
The tension keeps rising
It's all so exciting when

[Chorus 1]
Batman and Superman finally meet
At a fancy party, they exchange pleasantries
Just how I imagined in my childhood dreams
(Awesome)

[Verse 2]
So many colorful characters also get screentime
Like Alfred the scientist who don't forget tea-time
Headline spitting Perry Morpheus
And a notable performance from a jar of piss!
That's from Lex Zuckerberg, mumbler and mutterer
S-S-S-S-Stutterer [Right, what was I saying?]
A bold interpretation that no other Lex has ever done
Found a way to ruin Jolly Ranchers for everyone

Meanwhile Bruce has some crazy ass dreams that
Foreshadow things but he don't know what they mean
But as Batman do, he just murders dudes-
(Wait, Batman kills now? Oh, never mind, Superman's back!)

[Chorus 2]
Batman and Superman meeting part 2
They chat again, but this time in costume
Come on, when will they fight?
(*grunts*)

[Verse 3]
Wonder Woman, Flash, and even Cyborg's there too
Justice League teased, just like Aquaman's hairdo
Martha Kent gives advice before she gets kidnapped
Martha Wayne's dead, 'member?
Well, she can't do that!

Skip to the showdown
Both gonna throw down
Supes has the power and Bats has the know-how
He rigged the place with booby traps
And laser-eyes fire back
Looking bad for Bats but with Kryptonite gas

Tables turn, even brawl, smashing through brick walls
Supes takes an epic fall and Bats here can end it all
Got him dead to rights, got a spear of Kryptonite, then-
"Save Martha!"
God, Jesus Christ!

Sorry... I almost had it; so close, but, aw, this is too stupid to ignore! I mean, they had it! It was Batman versus Superman! It was two conflicting ideologies! There was so much to unpack, and then it ends because of a f***ing coincidence?!? Are you kidding me!?
And there's more movie I have to do! I have to get to the rest of this now! Come on!!!

Doomsday, Kryptonite, Wonder Woman's on your side
More destroyed property, Superman sacrifice
Shaved Lex, Bat threats, funeral with bagpipes
Superman's dead, I still don't understand why!

[Outro]
Batman v Superman had to be seen
Good God
DC just took a dump in my dreams
And it
All happened in Slow-mo
A long crap in Slow-mo
So much effing Slow-mo
This movie would last half an hour without all this slow-mo, you know?