2020 Recap Rap

[Intro]
Welcome to a year of zero subtlety or solace
Kicking off with fires in the homes of the koalas
Brexit in effect, Megxit causin' drama
Tennessee tornadoes, then we lost the Black Mamba
Meatheaded tweets heated beef with Iran
Impeachment and acquittal, meanwhile out in Wuhan
Cases rose, spread to Europe and America's dad
Then we said goodbye to every single plan that we had
(Lock it down
Lock it down
Lock it down
Lock it down)

[Verse 1]
N95s, PPE, social distancing
Wiping down mail with that disinfecting finishing
Dr. Fauc taught us all how to wash our hands right
Found out thе apocalypse imperative is asswipеs
Speaking of which, ol' Waterboy McTweets
Had a brilliant solution: just "Inject bleach"
Unemployment spiked, stocks crashed and burned quick
We had Carole Baskin theories and negotiated turnips
Musk's weird spawn, UFOs came down from orbit
But cases cracked a mill and we discovered murder hornets!
Zoom happy hours, drunk alone in our apartments
But this hellish year is just getting sourdough started

[Chorus 1]
Also I had jury duty
It's a civic responsibility and a minor inconvenience
But it's another less cool thing that happened
In 2020

[Verse 2]
Staring at our phones to distract from the disastrous
Saw the death of Breonna and then George in Minneapolis
Marching in the streets, '68 was in the air
Black Lives Matter so we posted black squares?
But the activists across the nation forced a change in conversation
Even out in Londontown, Boyega spitting inspiration
Centuries old frustration tore down statues, changed the game
From NASCAR to basketball and a football team name
Oh, that's it... Okay
All around the country brutal clashes with the cops
And the gassing wouldn't stop til they got that awkward photo op
Virus running hot, 10 mill across the planet
This moron threw an indoor pity party, why God damn it?!
An underground explosion killed hundreds in Beirut
For Azerbaijan and Armenia the violence continued
Real election fraud sparked some protests out in Belarus
Brahmaputra flood, climate change still got us screwed
The Bay went Blade Runner while the Gulf was slammed by hurricanes
And bam! Way too early Chadwick's off to the ancestral plane
John Lewis, RBG, we fight to keep to their legacies
And heaven gets to recreate Celebrity Jeopardy

[Chorus 2]
It's all too much to handle sometimes
Which is why I befriended this squirrel who came to my porch
I called him Diego and I fed him almonds
It was a welcome distraction from 2020

[Verse 3]
The election between good ol' gramps
And the undisputed champ of ramps
Then surprise he caught the virus thought he'd understand the dangers
Then they pumped him full of drugs and he threw more droplet ragers
Now debating is a part of our democracy
But differing realities can make it... Shut up!
Mail-in ballots, early voting, poll workers grind it out
Michigan, Arizona, Pennsylvania, Biden now
Whew
Things might be okay...
But they couldn't lose with grace, claiming fraud and hacks
So they sent out Giuliani's touring comedy act
Recount after recount, same result across the country
So maybe we can move on but it's still 2020
Scientist assassinated, Russian hackers infiltrated
Pardon after pardon and 600 bucks was still debated
Van Halen, Vader, Boba, left us way too soon
And all the people close to us we didn't have to lose

[Outro]
But even then, there were glimmers of light
Weinstein was convicted, and Oscars so Parasite
New Zealand beat COVID, Africa beat polio
The vaccine's on its way, but there's still so much further left to go
It was a year of self-reflection, I hope we learned a lot
About each other, ourselves, and what it meant to have a W.A.P
I'd say for 2021, things are looking up
But hey 2020?
Get f***ed!