Marvel Cinematic Universe Recap Rap

[Verse 1]
Turn the clock back at least ten years
To an allegory for RDJ's career
A douchebag hoisted by his own petard
Out a cave with a literal change of heart
British male Alexa shows him how to fly higher
Goop sticks around but not Colonel Empire
Evil bald dude is the first monger dreaded
Then we get rewarded for sitting through the credits

Film two, you forgot this one
Banner in Brazil still on the run
Watching anger on his fitbit, with Liv finds love
Beats an army and a foil
Norton leaves the fight club

Whole world's in on the Iron Man truth
Congress up his ass and he pissing in his suit
Laser whips and Hammer working together
Rhodey wears the armour, Scar Jo wears leather

God of Thunder is the next to go
Banished from the clouds to New Mexico
Schools Portman on the magic, looking for his tool to
Save a couple realms
Oh, and Loki dies (fooled you!)

Back in the day little twerp from Brooklyn
Juices up, get's better looking
Beating up Nazis one by one as duty calls
Freezes and thaws but is still left with blue balls

And it worked, let's assemble the Avengers
Shield, hammer, suit, arrows, guns and a temper
Fight each other first but it's part of a stupid plan
'Til they come together post the death of Agent Superfan
Loki got the blue cube, opens up a wormhole
Fight a bunch of aliens standing in a circle
Get that W, tease Thanos, and shawarma
So many things but that was just a warmup

[Chorus 1]
Avengers assembling
To save movie theatres

[Verse 2]
New terror on the rise called the Mandarin
Except he's an actor just standing in
For some glowy guy who Pepper wrecks
Tony blows up his suits for his future ex

Rainbow road to the cobble paths
Thor's newest foe is the gf's wrath
And buddy the elf with humourless experience
Save a couple realms
Oh, and Loki dies (for serious?)

Cap re-caps with his new friend, Sam
S.H.I.E.L.D's overseen by the Sundance man
Hydra's in the building and the baddies are the goodies
Fury wears a sling, Scar Jo wears a hoodie
They're following a deep, dark trail of crumbs
Cause the brainwashed killer is his missing chum
Have a catch and a tussle but neither wants to end it
Now I'm rethinking every one of my friendships!

Enough realism, cause we're going to space! (pew)
Holograms, lasers, a deck for tapes?
Got Bautista, Green Widow, rodent and his tree
And another hot Chris who's shredded like cheese
Prison break on the Milano and Cruise
Avoiding space cops and Ronan J'accuse!
Once again it's friendship saving lives
Band together like a more stable Jackson 5

Robo-Spader and a body for Jarvis
Thor takes a bath, dinner party at the Barton's
Save a European town with the mutant Ruskies
All this happened because Tony did a whoopsie

Yay Area, Rudd living thug life
Meets Michael Douglas and now he live a bug's life
Blowing up, shrinking down, every time he almost dies
Everybody knows Hope is way more qualified

[Chorus 2]
Avengers assembling
Kevin Feige's set for life!

[Verse 3]
War of words with Tony and Steve
But the real villain here is Legalese
Bucky offed the Stark 'rents way back in '91
Hey may have the metal arm, Cap has the mighty guns
Pick a team, by the acquaintance that they know best
Beat each other like action figures from my toy chest
Things are kinda cleared up but no one's said uncle
Rhodey rehabs, Bucky naps in the jungle

The mystical realm where Steve 2 transcends
Overcomes an injury but not a British accent
Dimension tripping, that finale on repeat
Bro, take a hit and watch this in 3-D

Bunch of A-holes all up their own rears
Still with a great soundtrack to hear
Peter's daddy issues are kinda resolved?
But R.I.P Yondu
"I'm Mary Poppins, y'all!"

New Spider-Man, actually a minor
Wants affection from his father figure suit designer
Learning how his body works, holding up a ferry boat
Meeting of the parents is the worst case scenario

Thor goes for comedy and actually delivers
Runs into the Ruffalo and a pair of scissors
Goldblum acts for the movie in his head
Then we save a couple realms-
Loki's still not dead

Brand new tech but with ancient customs
Monger with abs, opens up discussion
T'Challa shows the world how his country functions
Wakanda forever!
(Am I allowed to say that?)

Thanos' purple ass got off the throne
Get involved as long as you've got the stones
All time and space is in need of some saving
But mostly keep ol' Steve Rogers from shaving!