Deadpool Recap Rap

An origin story mostly told through flashbacks
Brought to you by overpaid tools and asshats
The Wolverine blueprint with a slightly different pattern
Multiply the violence, add the fuckin' Green Lantern

But you can call him Wade Wilson now
Pizza munching, minor hugging merc with a mouth
Never stops talking, tequila shot knocking
Back at St. Margaret's with Erlich Bachman

His only friend until he meets Vanessa
They spend a year doing it and playing dress-up
So beautiful and kinky, the proposal with the ring pop
Everything's cool 'til cancer throws everything off

The cure's inside a fucked-up institution
That tortures him until he turns into a mutant
Like Ajax (Francis)
Either way, insidious
Turns a perfect idiot real fuckin' hideous

He burns the place down, revenge is in his balls
He needs to break something
(Oh hey, fourth wall)

Just call me Deadpool from the movie, Deadpool
So tongue in cheek you won't believe it, baby
Just like this chorus, it's from the movie
(Get it?)

Now he's on a warpath to find and kill Francis
Who just disappeared, so the only real plan is
To scour the city and fuck up the cronies
With katanas, guns, and fuckin' zambonis

Back to the freeway, you ready for some cool shit?
He takes down a whole gang with only 12 bullets
Fucks up Francis, gets him where he wants him
But is suddenly interrupted by a metally buff Russian

"Recruiting for X-Men" Wade declines the option
Then punches stuff, gets cuffed, pulls an Aron Ralston
Down in the dumps, as he grows a tiny baby hand
Builds up a Kullen with his old blind lady friend

Pining for Vanessa, wants to tell her the truth
But all of a sudden talking is a hard thing to do
Fund her at her club starring DJ Excelsior
Follow her out back, but, whoops! she ain't there no more

Motherfucker, cock jiggling
Jiminy fuck-face
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck
(I mean)

Just call me Deadpool from the movie, Deadpool
Raked in more cash than every X-Men movie
This is it for singing, now enjoy the ending

He needs all the guns, stuff 'em in a duffle bag
3,000 rounds packed, one of 'em's a People mag
Dopinder's back, (high five!) pile into his yellow cab
Slow motion, badass, whoops, left the duffel bag

Oh well, he's going all swords, no lead
Nothing compares 2 Negasonic Teenage Warhead
Colossus fights clean does his gentleman best
While Wade slices kneecaps and hacks heads off necks

Francis faceoff, no sign of stopping
That is until he takes a fuckin' knife to the noggin
Vanessa saves him and the building crashes down
Everybody survives (I'm gonna kill Francis now)

Wait, perhaps first you'd like advice from Colossus
4 or 5 moments that's all it (bang!)
Mask removal, show the human blood blister
She don't seem to care, they make out to Careless Whisper

Sequel's being written, but nothing is a given
All I know is poor Dop's def going to prison