Midgets and Gay Bars

Thanks for having me. I tell you what, I picked up a midget prostitute and, uh... last night and gave her eight dollars to go up on me. (laughs) That's funny! I don't care who ya are, that's funny right there now! This is gonna be the dumbest show you ever seen in your whole life up here. I guaran-dadgum-tee you that right there.

Me and my buddy was drinking the other day. He said- we had no place to go. We was drinking in the house. He said, 'Well, let's go to that bar over there.' I said, 'That's a gay bar! I ain't going in there!' He says, 'Why? Thеy get $3 pitchers.' I'm like, 'Yеah, and they got $4 catchers!' (laughs) I ain't going in there! Good Lord, a fanny pack's a verb in there, for God's sake! I ain't going in there!