Dodge Truck, Retards and Stinkbait

Oh Lord... I don't drink. And I'm gonna tell you this story.

We was leaving the church the other day and, uh... I had this Dodge on the 12-inch. I always like to lift the trucks and I get to make a lot of friends that way. I got a buddy now. Brad. We're friends 'cause of my truck, 'cause he come up to me one day at 7-11. He's like, 'That's a Dodge right there! I used to have a Dodge. Cost me a lot of money though. I had to get the front end lifted, get the back worked on, but that's a good ride right there.' And we talked forever and that's how we're friends. And you only meet 'em if you got a truck. You never go up to the convenience store with your girlfriend in the car and some redneck come up... 'What you got in there? Big titty blonde in there? Yeah, I used to have one of them. Cost me a lot of money though, I tell you. I had to get the front end lifted, get the back worked on her, but... Boy, that's a good ride right there, that's a good ride!' (laughs)

But I was leaving the church up there and I had five retarded kids with me. They was in the back seat 'cause I was taking them home from Sunday School as part of my community service up there. They wanted to go to Bass Pro Shops and eat some stinkbait, so I was taking them in there. And I knew it was going- the minute we get in there, they'd have an announcement. 'Fifty cents off wiggleworms!' You know, they hear it. They're like, 'WIGGLEWORMS! WIGGLEWORMS! WIGGLEWORMS! WIGGLEWORMS! WIGGLEWORMS!' You know? It's pissing me off. I hear a good sermon about the Lord, now I got retards yelling, 'wiggleworm' in a damn store, running around, shoving bobbers up their noses... like a dadgum NAS-tard race in there. It pissed me off. It pissed me off.