Hemorrhoids

Well, I pushed too hard when I pooped
For years and years and years
And now some things have popped outta my bum
And oh, how it brings me tears

I've got the hemorrhoids
Yes, I've got the hemorrhoids
Take my advice so you can avoid
Those itchy, bloody, painful hemorrhoids

You gotta let the poop just come out
Come out naturally
You can't just sit there on the toilet for hours
Pushing so violently

I've got the hemorrhoids
Yes, I've got the hemorrhoids
I've got the hemorrhoids
I've got the hemorrhoids

My poop never comes out
In a soft pile of mush
My poop is always really hard
And it only comes out if I push and push and push

And if I hadn't pushed
If I had just stopped
Those itchy, painful hemorrhoids
They would never have popped
Outta my bum

Hemorrhoids