Dropping a Deuce

Well, I'm feeling fine, I'm feeling loose
I'm sitting on the toilet just dropping a deuce
There's no place that I'd rather be
'Cause only on the john do I really feel free

The rest of the time, I hold it all in
It makes me feel like crying, though I wear a fake grin
People who know can see it in my face
They say, "You look like you'd rather be eliminating waste"

With each and every piece that lands in the toilet
I'm gonna turn around to admire it
Then I'm gonna flush and sit back down
And wait 'til I hear another plopping sound

I've got a glass of water and a book to read
I'm gonna sit on this toilet as long as I need
Dropping a deuce is the ultimate in relaxation
Except for when the seat cuts off my circulation

I'm feeling fine and I'm feeling loose
I'm sitting on the toilet just dropping a deuce
You know there's no place else that I'd rather be
'Cause only when I'm pooping do I really feel free