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I had dinner with my ex-wife the other day, and, uh, that can be hard. We still hold some grudges. Our waitress asked me if I wanted some salt or, uh, a lemon with my margarita. And I thought for a second and said, 'Well, I'll have a salt.'
Next thing I know, my ex-wife had punched me in the nose. I said, 'What's wrong, honey?' She said, 'Nothing. You asked for assault and I felt like giving it to you!'