Lawyers

[audience member: 'Shut up!']

Except for lawyers. Yeah.

Yeah, I got a letter from a lawyer the other day. It says, uh, 'Dear Mr. Hamburger, you owe me a hundred dollars.'

I called him up right away and I said, 'What are you talking about? I've never even heard of you.'

And he says, uh, 'Just a minute.' And he puts me on hold. Okay?

Ten minutes later, he gets back on the phone and he says, 'Look. I charge $600 an hour and you've been on the phone with me for ten minutes. That's a hundred bucks. Now pay it bеfore I sue you for the amount of monеy I'll earn for the time it takes to drop the legal papers to sue you again!'

Yeah. You can't win. It's, uh... it's a catch-22 or... another example of Murphy's Law: 'If something can go wrong, it probably will.'

[audience member: 'Shut up!']

Yeah.