Condoms

...condoms.

[inserted laughter]

Yeah. I said it. ...'condoms'?

[inserted laughter]

And I went into the store to get a few of them, and y- you just can't do that without causing a scene. I went up to the cash register and put the condoms down and... the cashier looks at me and says, 'Oh, would you like a salami with those?'

[inserted laughter]

And I said, 'No.' And she said, 'How about some whipped cream?'

[inserted laughter]

'Or a couple of donut holes?'

[inserted laughter & applause]

'How about a jar of peanuts?'

[inserted laughter]

'Or a... maybe a package of Ding Dongs?'

[inserted laughter]

Well, of course, I was humiliated... but that's my life!

[inserted applause & cheering]

All in a day's work for Neil Hamburger!

[inserted raucous applause & cheering]