The Army Reserve

There'll be plenty of jokes tonight. Don't worry, folks. In fact, we're recording this show tonight for my latest comedy compact disc. So, hey, make some noise out there. You'll be famous!

[applause & cheers]

That's right. You'll all be on the record too. Preserved for eternity in digitally recorded sound. Everyone's a star.

[continued applause]

[male audience member yells: 'Metallica!']

Okay. Cool it, guys.

[continued applause]

Anyway, I used to be in the Army Reserve. And I, uh- My staff sergeant...

[continued applause]

Hey.

[male audience member yells: 'Metallica!']

Hey, come on, guys. Cool it down. Okay. Hey, I- I thought you wanted-

[mic gets knocked over]

[male audience member yells into microphone: 'Metallica!']

[continued applause]