The Diagnosis

Hello. My name is Neil Hamburger. It's good to be here, where I belong, on the stage. I've been on the road for 14 years straight. And a couple of months that weren't so straight, but we better not talk about that right now, anyway. But don't worry! I didn't catch anything.

But in all seriousness, folks, I've got to make a serious admission. I've been diagnosed with a terminal case of funny-guy-itis! [chuckles] That's right! Yeah. But my doctor says it's infectious, and you'll all be coming down with laughter. So enjoy the show.

Okay. Now, here we go.