The Wrong Zipper

Let me tell you all, last year—this is the truth, I wouldn't lie to none of y'all because you the folks here that kept me out the penitentiary. See, I didn't have to be here trying to entertain you. I could be somewhere now breaking into your home while you were here watching whoever was here. See, it's a lotta ways to get a smile on your landlady's face. But this sister in New York City wanted to go to the march to Washington so bad, she took some of the money she had saved to go to Washington on this big march. And she got on the train, she had a big zipper bag filled with chicken, and she put the chicken in the zipper bag on the seat beside her, and she looked out the window on her way to Washington for the great march. And she felt like a piece of chicken, so she just reached beside her and zipped it open and *pssh*, took out a big piece of chicken, zipped it back up, ate the chicken, leaned in the window and went to sleep. Train got to Philadelphia, place was crowded, everybody's going to Washington, train was crowded. And a guy walked over where the sister was sitting with her zipper bag, and he picked her zipper bag up, she was sleep in the window, so he just put her zipper bag up on the rack, and he sat down beside her. The train got to Baltimore and hit that curve, so it shook old sister, and she saw that, woke up, and she felt like another piece of chicken, she was looking out the window to see how close she was to Washington, and she just reached beside her and zip, reach—she said, "Now, wait a minute, I know damn well I had more than that and two gizzards." That's a good reaction, I'd say that was a humdinger. And you know what a humdinger is, don't you? A humdinger, that's a girl who starts to hum every time she sees a dinger...