The Hat

Two girls at the beauty parlor talking, and one girl had on a beautiful mink and her friend had on a cloth coat with grease around her neck. She said, "Honey, how you get all those nice clothes all the time? Every time I see you, you have shoes and dresses to match, and your furs and stuff." She said, "How you get all those things?" So the other girl said, "When I go home, I put on a hat and nothing else, and when my old man waits for me downstairs and I get ready to go outside, I tell him I don't have nothin’ else to wear but this hat. And then he gives me a blank check and I go buy what I want." The other girl said, "No kidding, shit, I'ma try that tonight when I go home." She went home, her old man was waiting for her, was gonna take her down to the theater. And she came downstairs and she had on nothing but a hat. He said, "Where in the hell—where you think you going dressed like that?" And she said, "Well, honey, I don't have a thing to wear." He said, "Well, the least you could do is shave, you look like a bum."