No Dogs Allowed

It's some good-looking folks here tonight—a few ugly ones here and there. You know who you are, you ugly rascal, you. There was an old ugly broad got on the bus today, a big old fat broad, weighed about 240—she had on four girdles, big ol... She looked at the bus driver, she had this dog under her coat. Bus driver said, "You can't get on this bus with no dog." She said, "Well, you know what you can do with your old bus." He said, "Yeah, and if you do the same thing with that dog, you can ride."