The Vow

Another movie I watched high, I actually really like. I watched The Vow recently. I love The Vow. If you don’t know what The Vow is, it’s, uh, Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams, and they’re married. And in the first scene, they get in a car accident, and luckily she goes through the windshield, and, uh– Oh, yeah, it’s my favorite part. And it’s in slow motion, so you get to enjoy it. No, fuck that. It’s always the guy going through the windshield, and I was like, “Oh, it’s the girl.” I was like, “All right. All right, Nicholas Sparks, I see you. I’m invested."

She goes through the windshield. She ends up losing her memory. She doesn’t remember that she’s married. The movie shoulda been over right there. That’s it. Shoulda been a short film about some bitch who should have wore a seat belt. That’s all that needed to be.

Instead of that, the rest of this movie, this poor guy is trying to make his wife fall back in love with him, ’cause she don’t remember him. That would never happen. I mean, maybe it would, but I– I try to put myself, like, in that situation whenever I watch a movie, and I wouldn’t be able to do it if I’m being completely honest. Like, if I get married to you and you become a vegetable, like, you’re a vegetable now, and I’m on the run, ’cause I’m not a vegetable. If that was me, honestly, and I walked into my wife’s room– and I walk into a hospital, I go to my wife’s room, and was like, “Oh! Oh, my God, honey. Are you okay?” And she’s like, “Who are you?" I’d be like, “Oh, wrong room. My bad. Sorry to bother you, ma’am.” I would call up my friends, be like, “Yo! Guess who don’t remember? I tried. I said hello.”

Been thinking about what I wanna do with my life. I'm tryna figure it out. First thing is to find a pair of pants that fit. Like, I have a belt on, and they still don't fit. Like, that's ridiculous. No, I started wearing skinny jeans 'cause I heard it ruins your cum, and I was like, "Sick, bring 'em on." Yeah, I'm a big supporter of skinny jeans. They ruin your balls. That's a great brand. That should be the commercial. It should be, like, two people fucking, cumming inside, and then him just putting on skinny jeans, and him going "No bag, no problem. I was wearing skinnies."