(Let’s Have) A Patrick Swayze Christmas

[Verse 1]
[Tom] Open up your heart and let the Patrick Swayze Christmas in.
[Crow] We'll gather at the Road House with our next of kin.
[Joel] And Santa can be our regular Saturday night thing.
[All] We'll decorate a barstool and gather round and sing.
[Tom] Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas this year!
[Crow] Or we'll tear your throat out and kick you in the ear...

[Break]
[Joel]
Hold it, hold it a sec. Cambot, stop the music. (music stops) Uh, Crow, I don't know if I think this is an appropriate sentiment anymore for Christmas.

[Crow]
Hey, what? Like a good action sequence don't belong in Christmas?

[Joel]
Well, no, it's just that I've never heard of an action sequence in a Christmas carol before.

[Crow]
Well, then grab hold o' your socks, Joel Robinson, and read on!

[Tom]
Okay, pick it up from measure 20, Cambot....Lovely intro, though. Very tasteful.

[Crow]
Thank you.

[Verse 2]
[Tom] It's my way or the highway, this Christmas at my bar.
[Crow] I'll have to smash your kneecaps if you bastards touch my car!
[Joel] I got the word that Santa has been stealing from the till.
[All] I think that that right jolly old elf had better make out his will!
Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas, one and all.
And this can be the haziest...
This can be the laziest...
This can be the Swayziest Christmas of them all!