The “New Fugg”

I'd like to take this time out to pause to mention my sponsor, the makers of the greatest soap product in the world, and I'm sure all you girls have a box of this great soap product. Spelled F-U-G-G, pronounced "Fugg." Fugg, girls, no soap on earth can touch Fugg—does, did, all, them, those, us, you, we, add, subtract, multiply, divide, Big Ben, Lifebuoy, Dove, Dial, 20 Mule Team Borax, OK, Rinso, Chipso, Vel—hell, nothing can touch Fugg. Because Fugg has so many advantages, and here's just one, for instance, ladies: Suppose your husband works on a dirty job, like in a coal mine, on a truck, in a garage. When he comes home all dirty and nasty, when he opens the door and walks in the house, tell him to go Fugg hisself. Now, next week has been declared Garbage Can Week all over Southern California, and girls, you know the garbage can is more or less in your department. So when you go home tonight, I beg of you, bend over and look in your can, ask yourself, "Does my can need cleaning?" You have to check your can from time to time. Your neighbor could be using your can. And you don't know what your neighbor might try to put in it. I suggest you Fugg your can, or let somebody Fugg it for you. If you do use Fugg in your can, when your husband comes home, bends over and smells your can *sniff*, it will savor that smile of pleasure, your can has just been Fugged. Since next week is Garbage Can Week, the makers of Fugg have this extra special offer on. With the purchase of one box of F-U-G-G, Fugg, it's absolutely free without cost, a sample size box of their latest detergent, spelled S-U-G-G, pronounced "Sugg". So, remember folks, wherever you go and whatever you do, always try to keep this in mind: If you can't Fugg it...that's right, lady...I told you you were gonna find out what's going on