Singing Christmas Tree

Boy, I tell you what, one of my favorite things I like to do at Christmas is sing in the singing Christmas tree down there at the church. Boy, I like it. But here I try to be part of the singing Christmas tree and it ain't nothing but a big hassle

Number one: you show me the verse in the Bible where it says 'Thou shalt not wear a shirt that says "wine 'em, dine 'em, 69 'em" to choir practice'. It ain't in there! Not even in the red words! The Lord don't care about fashion. He wants you in the church!

And number two: I didn't mеan to hurt them folks, but when DeWaynе said, 'Look, I sat in some gum,' and then I looked and he had his scrotum pulled out, I was laughing so hard I shook the plank we were all standing on and we all lost our balance and went tumbling. What the hell they got old women up that high for anyway? Damn! They can barely climb stairs, let alone sing carols from 50 feet in the air!

Three: I enjoy being a part of the singing Christmas tree but I don't think the Lord would be happy to know that a bunch of stuck-up snobs is singing in them branches. I telled these two fat women that the retard was singing off-key and they acted like I just peed in the bushes. Lighten up! It's supposed to be Christmas!

I sung my hind end off though and I was happy to do something for the Lord and contribute to the singing Christmas tree. And you should've seen the boobs on that woman that sung 'Away in a Manger'. Good Lord! It's a wonder the whole tree didn't tip over with her on the top of them branches. Them was some blue-ribbon Christmas jugs! But I wanna thank the church for letting me be in the singing tree! One of my favorite times of year. Git-R-Done