Pissed-Off Christmas Poem

Alright, here's a Christmas poem I want to do. I writ this poem one night after being all pissed off at the news, 'cause they're so dadgum political correct at Christmastime, it irritates me:

'twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house...

Not a creature was stirring 'cause the political correctors done made everybody have a holiday party and took the fricking fun out of everything!

And me and my camo undershorts and Mom in her Quigley Down Under Tom Selleck t-shirt caroled to ourselves in our living room 'cause we was afraid some anti-Jesus moron might hear us singing 'Joy to the World, the Lord has come' and might get the ACLU to sue us 'cause we's singing about Jesus! And that's just as bad as rape and murder in this dadgum country!

When out on the window, I heard such a clatter...

That I called 911 'cause ever since they made me get a gun lock for my pistol, I can't shoot the fricking thing and I've been robbed six times by some scumbag who was just let out of jail for good behavior!

When what to my wondering eyes did appear...

But a cop doing an illegal search-and-seizure 'cause the gay neighbor next door seen me fly a rebel flag from my truck and he thought I was in the Klan or something like the little wussy that he is. Little wussy

You know what? The hell with this poem. Merry Christmas, you political correctors and may you burn in Hell for turning this once-great country into a world of uptight, non-smoking, anti-Jesus, anti-gun, tofu-eating, tree-hugging commies. Merry Christmas. Git-R-Done