Grandpa’s Thanksgiving Story

This here is more geared toward Thanksgiving, but still a nice holiday

This is the story of the first Thanksgiving, once again, by my drunk grandpa:

'Many years ago, Christopher Columbus and his pilgrim buddies come to America on a boat called the Mayflower to live 'cause the English King wouldn't let the Jewish people go

So Moses, who was a friend of Christopher Columbus, rented three boats: the Mayflower, the Santa Maria, and the USS Enterprise

When they landed on America, an Indian squaw named Sacagawea met them and traded them pelts for beer, and then showed 'em how to de-gut a rabbit

That night her friends danced around with their boobs hanging out and balanced clay pots on their heads

The head pilgrim then baptized all the Indians to be Christians and they shot turkeys and played horseshoes

It was General Custer's birthday, and three Oriental kings showed up with presents of myrrh and other crap

Many pilgrims didn't survive the first winter 'cause they didn't have heat, 'cause Jimmy Carter, who was president of the Pilgrims, had an oil embargo

Sacagawea and her Indian friends burned buffalo turds and heated the camp. The pilgrims was thankful. However, it smelled so bad, animals come out of the forest, two by two

The Lord then made a rainbow appear to let the people know that he would never make turds burn again and cause a horrible smell

Sacagawea fell in love with Ke-mo Sah-bee and they were married on that first Thanksgiving and lived in a tent with wheels. That's right

All the pilgrims were happy they were away from the king and safe in a new land. And to beat that, they all landed right on Thanksgiving day

Charlton Heston was then elected president.'

My grandpa was really drunk. *laughs* Git-R-Done