My Favorite New Kid

Someone actually asked me once, "Who's your favorite New Kid?"

"THE FIRST ONE THAT DIES!" That's the poster that's going up in Willy's room!

And I hope it's Donnie, that scruffy little rebel. Hope Donnie gets that one chin hair he's been working on for three fucking years caught in the front wheel of his scooter... and it pulls his head off like a champagne cork coming out.

*pop* *pop* *pop*

He's in the middle of the freeway like a plasma sprinkler.

*squirt* *squirt* *squirt* *squirt* *squirt*

That would crack me up for days. And his parents are there and they see it too, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's mom, his mom watchеs the whole fucking thing with her еyes wide open like Malcolm in Clockwork Orange.

"I can't fucking play, I'm watching my son torn asunder!" Yeah, who's that in the corner of your eye? It's BILL, laughing his fucking head off.

Shooting blood 30 feet into the sky like a fucking geyser. That, my friends, would tell me God is loving.