Lord, I Apologize

[Intro]
What the hell is this? Russia?

[Chorus]
If you're looking for a feller
Wanting to Git-R-Done
Likes NASCAR, beer and fishing
And going out shooting guns
I ain't no latte-drinking tree hugger
On that, you can rely
I'm a bonafide American
I'm Larry the Cable Guy

[Verse 1 (Larry the Cable Guy & Mark Tremonti)]
I was with this girl the other day that put on some of them crotchless underbritches. You know, the ones that got the holes in the crotch? She sat on the couch for me all sexy and she says, 'Larry! You want some of this?' I said, 'Heck no! Look like it did to your undershorts! That looks like a good place for a stickup.

Larry, Larry, Larry. Hit your knees.

Lord, I apologize.

[Chorus]
If you're looking for a feller
Wanting to Git-R-Done
Likes mudding in a mud hole
For a day of fun
I ain't no commie [???] rider
On that, you can rely
I'm a bonafide American
I'm Larry the Cable Guy

[Verse 2]
When I was a kid, my dad caught me calling one of them 900 talk-dirty phone sex numbers. He says, 'Larry, wait 'til I tell your mother what you've been doing!' I said, 'Hold on, daddy! I'll let you talk to her!' (laughs) Lord, I apologize!

Let's hear some picking!

[Guitar Solo]
Hey, hey! Tremonti!
Hey, this ain't Shea Stadium!
Take two.

[Verse 3 (Larry the Cable Guy & Mark Tremonti)]
I was up the other night and I come home, fell asleep. I dreamt I drunk the world's largest margarita. Then, when I woke up this morning, there was salt on the toilet lid. Ugh, thank God I didn't eat the worm in there.

Larry, you're not right, man.

I know, Mark. Lord, I apologize.

[Chorus]
If you're looking for a feller
Wanting to Git-R-Done
A tobacco-spitting redneck
Then let me tell you, son
My name is Larry the Cable Guy
On my flagpole, Dixie flies
And if that right there offends you
Then Lord, I apologize
Lord, I apologize

[Bridge (Larry the Cable Guy & Mark Tremonti)]
Hey, mister rockstar. Let me do some country picking.
Alright. Take it away, Larry.
You need to put some new strings on this. These is all worn out.
Larry, man. I thought you could play, man. You're freaking horrible.
Check this out.

[Outro]
Tell me that didn't get you horny.
Git-R-Done.