The Skating Alligator

INT. SAM’S HOUSE: LIVING ROOM – NIGHT TIME [Sam and Andrew attentively watch as a bulldog plays with his testicles]

OLIVIA
Andrew, would you like to see Sam's ice-skating tape?

SAM
Mom, no.

ANDREW
Absolutely.

OLIVIA
She was so ahead of her time. She could have gone to the Olympics.

SAM
No, no, no, no. I couldn't have.

OLIVIA
Yes, you could have. Don't blame it on the epilepsy. You had a gift.

ANDREW
Come on. Let me see it.

OLIVIA
Let's just show him the "Florida Stars of the Ice"opening. The gator costume.

SAM
Mom, I'm asking you, seriously.

ANDREW
Come on. Don't be shy. Let me see it!

OLIVIA
Oh, she wants you to see it. How could you not want him to see how talented you are?

SAM
Were.

OLIVIA
Come on.

ANDREW
Come on.

OLIVIA
Honey, what are you doing?

TITEMBAY
I'm dusting for prints.

OLIVIA
Well, could we move the crime scene into the kitchen? I want to show Andrew Sam's skating.

TITEMBAY
But someone's been pissing on my GameCube, and I'm about to close the case.

OLIVIA
It wasn't me, Your Honor.

TITEMBAY
The paw prints point to a canine. Hmm.

OLIVIA
Andrew, come on. Sit down here on the couch.

SAM
I can't believe you're actually showing him this.

OLIVIA
Look, there she is.

ANDREW
You're the alligator?

OLIVIA
You can tell by the hands.

OLIVIA
Here comes the double axel. And... Land! Oh, I mean, come on. Is she good?

SAM
Wow, she's great.

SAM
All right.

ANDREW
Wow.

SAM
Shut up.

ANDREW
No, I mean, your mom was right. You're really good.

SAM
This is awesome, but we gotta go.

OLIVIA
All right. Just wanted to show how talented you are.

SAM
Mom, come on! My baby! All right, go on! Go on. Get away. Wait a minute. Gimme a hug. I love you so much. I'm so proud of you.

SAM
I love you too.

ANDREW
Have a good night. Thanks for dinner.

OLIVIA
Come on! You're giving me a hug too.

SAM
Mom! Come on.

ANDREW
I'll take a hug.

SAM
Good night. See you later, Tim.

ANDREW
Bye, Tim.

TITEMBAY
Peace out, player.