Step On The Gas (L.A. Riots)

So anyway. LA, man. LA, what a nightmare place. Home of the pedestrian right of way law. You ever heard of this law? It’s true. Pedestrian right of way law. What this law is – believe this or not, it’s absolutely true – if a pedestrian decides to cross a road in LA at any point, any time or anywhere on the road . . . that, they’re just walking along, ‘Oh, I wanna be over there now’, step in road, every car by law has to stop – (makes braking noise) – and let this person cross the fuckin’ road. Love to see those fuckers try that around here. Wouldn’t that be fun? Some LA tourists here... stepping in the road, we just speed up, turn our wipers on, you know. Dum-ch, dum-ch, dum-ch. ‘Bad call, brother. No great loss – he was from Los Angeles.’ The stupidest fuckin’ law. How many of y’all wondered like I did during the LA riots when those people were being pulled out of their trucks and beaten half to death, how many of y’all wondered like I did... step on the fucking gas, man! They’re on foot, you’re in a truck... I think I see a way out of this. It’s that pedestrian right of way law. Gang of youths stepped in front of their trucks, Molotov cocktails, clubs in hand, every one of these California idiots: (makes braking noise). Freeze-frame! (singing) ‘Da da da da da da da. Da da da!’ That fuckin’ Reginald Denny, that truck driver? Never gonna stop again, I guarantee you. Could be an old woman with a baby carriage crossing the road, he’s just (makes repeated truck-horn sound). ‘Not today, lady. Not today. Tried stoppin’ once, didn’t work out too well for me. Some of y’all may have caught me getting my ass kicked on the news... go ahead and mail that 25-dollar ticket to me, brother. I’ll take that over the 25 hundred stitches I had in my left fuckin’ CHEEK!’ That poor guy, Reginald Denny, Jesus. Everyone all over the world, people watched this guy get his ass kicked repeatedly, and everyone in the fuckin’ world in every country was thinking the same thing: step on the goddamn gas! What are you doing? Every country – French people: ‘Why you no step on the pedal? The pedal... the truck, the Mack truck surely outrun the gang of people, I...’ He could have avoided all this with just one little— like that. (makes roaring noise) You’re through ’em at that point. Tap the fuckin’ pedal. (roaring noise) Chinese — ‘Why you not step on gas? Why you–’ Man. I bet you anything that Reginald Denny is an exemplary employee at that trucking service he works at, man. His boss is thrilled to have him now.

‘Wow, it’s Reginald. Here again ahead of schedule. Ha ha! Unbelievable. He’s ahead of schedule every run he makes now. It’s as though... he ain’t stoppin’ out there. It’s incredible. I’d love to give him a raise, but every time I run up to the cab he starts backing away’ (truck horn) ‘Seems rather skittish.’