Gays in the Military

You never see my attitude in the press. That's what bugs me. You never see my point of view. For instance... gays in the military. Now, I don't know how y'all feel about it. Gays wanna be in the military. Here's how I feel about it, alright? Anyone... DUMB enough... to wanna be in the military... should be allowed in. End of fucking story. That should be the only requirement. I don't care how many pushups you can do. Put on a helmet, go wait in that foxhole. We'll tell you when we need you to kill somebody.

You know what I mean? I'm so sick- I've watched these fucking congressional, uh, hearings and all these military guys and all the pundits, serious like, "Oh, the esprit-de-corps will be affected... and we are such a moral..." Excuse me, AREN'T Y'ALL FUCKING HIRED KILLERS!? SHUT UP! You are thugs and when we need to go blow the fuck out of a nation of little brown people, we'll let you know! Until then... When did the fucking military get all these moral... "We are the military! Is that a village of children and kids? Where's the napalm? *whoosh* *boom* "I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids. I just don't wanna see it!"

Don't tell me this: the military protects our freedom. Hey, ladies and gentlemen, there ain't no one out there who's a fucking threat to us, okay? They don't exist. Oh-oh, I'm talking now only of countries we don't arm first. Alright! If you wanna split hairs, you've got a point! "Bill, what about the nations we sell arms to and then go blow the fuck out of?" Okay, they might be scary for about a day. We give them the old weapons, we use the new ones on them, you know... Fucking Iraq found that out, huh? "You have the Scud, we have the Patriot. The Scud TIMES TWO, you fucks!" Just keep selling 'em the shitty shit, you know... who we fight the next with, they'll have muskets. *pop* *boom* "America won a war with this." Yeah, a HUNDRED YEARS AGO! We got new shit now! Fuck! *hiss* "What is that?" It's musket repellent! I can kill you by looking at you.