A New Flag (Patriotism)

I was over in Australia, and they’re all, “Are you proud to be an American?” I was like, “Oh, I don’t know, I didn’t have a lot to do with it, you know? Uh, my parents fucked there, that’s about all. I- you know… I was in the spirit realm at that time telling them, ‘Fuck in Paris! Fuck in Paris!’ But they couldn’t hear me because I didn’t have a mouth. I was a spirit without lungs or a mouth or vocal cords. They fucked here.” OK, I’m proud.

I hate patriotism. I can’t stand it, man. Makes me fuckin’ sick. It’s a round world last time I checked, OK? Know what I mean? I hate patriotism. In fact, that’s how we can stop patriotism, I think. Instead of putting stars and stripes on our flags, we should put pictures of our parents fucking. Gather people around that flag and see your dad hunched over your mom’s big 4x4 butt. See if any boot rally mentality can circle around that little fucking image. God damn, I’m outta here, fuck it!

“Is that your mom?” “Shut up!” Let’s go garden.