Why Do People Think I’m Gay?

There are many things in life that I have learned
Like respect cannot be bought, it must be earned
I have learned that talk is cheap
I look before I leap
And I sniff the milk to see if it has turned

But there's one thing that remains a mystery
And it seems that I am just to blind to see
You know they say one guy in ten, prefers the company of men
But why do people think that one is me?

Why do people think I'm gay?
Is it something that I say?
Am I camp or slightly fay?
Is it my love of Doris Day?
Why do people think I'm gay?
Not that that isn't okay
But let me ask you if I may
Why do people think I'm gay?

Don't get me wrong, it's cool, this world takes different strokes (Different strokes)
But personally, I just don't fancy blokes (Fancy blokes)
You know there's no enjoyment finer than to play with a lady's special place
At least that's what I often told my folks (That's what he's always told his folks)

So why do people think I'm gay?
Is it the way that I sashay?
Each time I hear YMCA
With my nipples on display

Okay, I'm sensitive, polite, and neatly dressed (Neatly dressed)
And yes I own a fitted lycra vest (It's just for jogging)
And so I moisturize my face
And I'm a fan of Will & Grace
And I wish my girlfriend had a hairy chest (He wished his girlfriend had a hairy chest)

But why do people think I'm gay?
Has my libido gone astray?
I blame it on my Uncle Ray
And that thing with the bidet
How do people know I'm gay? (Know I'm gay)
Have they met my friend José? (Friend José)
Now I've got to find a way (Find a way)
To tell my fiancée (fiancée)