Sorry Song

There are one or two good things about the British
Though they can be rather shy or even skittish
They're incredibly disarming
They can be very charming
Indeed, Hugh Grant has earned a living being twittish

As a Brit there's not much at which I excel
But there's one thing I can do extremely well
While the French are being rude
And the Swedes are being nude
The Brits, we can apologize like hell

So I'm sorry
Sorry for my hairstyle
It's a rather square style
All I could afford

I'm sorry
This disc has cost you money
I hope you found it funny
And you weren't too bored

Well a dear old friend of mine was in a bind
So I agreed to put him up just to be kind
And to my great surprise
I heard myself apologize
Saying "Sorry, but the sheets aren't even ironed."

I was minding my own business in a bar
Merely trying to sink a quiet jar
When a pair of drunken louses
Spilled their beer all down me trousers
But instead of crying "Who do you think you are?"
I said

Sorry
Sorry for existing
Foolishly persisting
Please don't think I'm strange

I'm sorry
Maybe I should think for you
Let me buy a drink for you
Please, keep all the change

I'm sorry
So apologetic
It's really quite pathetic
At boldness I'm the worst

I'm sorry
Apologies are furtive
Even when being assertive
A "sorry" sneaks out first

I'm sorry, I think you'll find I was here before you!

Contrition
Cowed into submission
I am really wishin'
I could be a man

Compunction
Self esteem dysfunction
I'm really up the junction
Sorry's what I am

Key change!

I'm sorry
Sorry for that key change
Something of a C change
Really rather naff

I'm sorry
Still self-referential
Wasting my potential
On an easy laugh

I'm sorry
Sorry for Hiroshima
Gosh, I'd like to wash-i-ma
Hands of all of that

I'm sorry
Sorry for the Alamo
Sorry about Guantanamo
Sorry Blair's a twat

Well, ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for listening to this CD! I hope you've enjoyed it, and if you haven't, I'm sorry. In the meantime, let's all apologize together!

We're sorry
Sorry about the ozone
Now it's a no-go zone
Let's hope it grows back

We're sorry
Sorry about the empire
Let's all make a bonfire
Of the Union Jack

We're sorry
For murder, war, and famine
Perhaps we should examine
Where we all went wrong

We're sorry
Sorry for all our folly
Sorry for being sorry
Sorry for this song

I'm sorry
I have to take my leave now
Promise not to grieve now
Time to say ta-ta

I'm sorry
To have to go and spoil it
I really need the toilet
See you in the bar

Well I'm sorry
I'm repentent
I'm disconsolate
And abashed

If sorry was a radio station
I'd be the transmitter
And I couldn't be more sorry if I was
Gary Glitter

I'm sorry
So sorry
I'm sorry

Oh, still feel terrible...