Middle of the Night Song

Here in the middle of the night
I fear that something isn't right
It's clear that struggle as I might
I can't get to sleep
No, I can't get to sleep

What if our cat is gay?
What if he fancies me?
What if I'm a gay cat trapped inside a straight man's body?
What if the ceiling fell down?
What if I never woke up?
What if I did wake up but in a slightly alternative reality where everyone spoke Latin?

[Something in Latin]

Does my wife cheat on me?
Is she sleeping with my dentist?
My right arm has gone numb
Could be a heart attack
But with a heart attack it's your left arm, not your right
What if by freaky chance
My heart's the wrong way round?
Hang on, it's okay, I've been leaning on my right side

I wonder what it's like to be a fish
Did I leave the tap on?
Can you get cancer of the hair?
Is my dad a robot?
There's a damp patch on the wall that looks like Mr. T

Does astral projection work?
I tried and find that it does
I project myself into the kitchen where I discover that the top of the fridge needs a wipe

I might try counting sheep
That's daft it never works

[snoring]