Never Gonna Win the World Cup

From the corners of the Earth, they come
They come to prove what they are worth, what they're worth
Achtung, Germany, au revoir, France
Adiós, Argentina, you don't stand a chance
Mia dogo, Togo, hasta luego, Spain
You can all save yourselves a whole World Cup of pain
Because

England's gonna win the World Cup
So wear your England kits
And hold your tabloid centerfolds up
With the footballs on their tits
'Cause England's gonna win (England!)
Is hopefully gonna win (England!)
So buy a cuddly lion for the kids (For the kids)

Yes, we're probably gonna win the World Cup
No matter what they say
And we'll never let our flags be furled up
However crap we play
'Cause I'm sure we're gonna win (England!)
Yes, we're definitely gonna win (England!)
And don't you let the facts get in the way

Each silver lining has a cloud
What if our boys don't make us proud?
To be frank, if we won, we'd be put out
There'd be nothing to feel disappointed about
So take all the flags from off your car
Put your commemorative biscuits right back in the jar

'Cause we might not win the World Cup
But just a wooden spoon
And we really shouldn't get our hopes up
Until the end of June
It's far from certain that we'll win (England!)
Might not be going to win (England!)
Although statistically we've got to win it soon

Beckham once dreamed he was holding the Cup
The proudest day of his whole life (Oh, the World Cup!)
It was hard, it was dense, it was cold to the touch
When he woke he was holding his wife

'Cause we're never gonna win the World Cup
All the games are jinxed
Soon the pub projection screens will be curled up
And we'll cry into our drinks
'Cause we probably won't win (England!)
It's unlikely that we'll win (England!)
I'm only saying what everybody thinks

'Cause we're never gonna win the World Cup
It's looking pretty bleak
And after all the months of buildup
We'll last about a week
'Cause we're not gonna win (England!)
Are not gonna win (England!)
Are on a forty-year not-winning streak
But if Rooney actually makes it off the bench
We might at least do better than the French