Makin’ Sandwiches

There was a cat in a drive-in with a chick, and they were watching a movie
And all of a sudden, the car next to 'em start shaking and moving and shaking
And the girl looked over, said, "What are they doing over there?"
Fella said, "They're making sandwiches"
Looked over on the right hand side of 'em, the car was moving and the backseat was jumpin', I mean, they was groovin'
And the girl said, "My goodness, look over there. Say, what are they doing over there?"
He said, "Making sandwiches over there, too"
She said, "Well, why don't we make a few sandwiches"
So, they started making sandwiches in the backseat, and they got home, the dad was eating, was up 'cause they got in a little late
He said, "Where in the hell y'all been?"
She said, "Daddy, don't get angry, we were just at the drive-in making sandwiches"
He said, "Well, I guess that's mayonnaise running down your leg then"
Don't look at me, somebody got to tell 'em
This old cat loved adventure, and he set out for Alaska, driving
He drove three days and three nights to get to Alaska, that's where he wanted to go, biggest state in the United States
He got to the border, he was just talking to one of the guards, he said, "Look, what do you have to do to become a citizen up here, where the people really respect you, where you love up here?"
This guy said, "Well, the first thing you gotta do is drink a gallon of 151 proof rum, and don't bat your eye"
This cat said, "Okay then," he said, "Where you get that from?"
He said, "It's around here"—and he said, "What's the second thing you gotta do?"
He said, "You gotta kill a polar bear, and the third thing you gotta do is make love to an Eskimo broad"
First, cat said, "Well, give me that liquor first"
So he got that liquor, and he got a whole gallon, he drank it down, didn't bat an eyelash, he was tore up
And he left, pretty soon he came back, he said, "Well, where can I get this polar bear?"
Fella said, "You go up there, there's a polar bear about a half a mile up this way, lives in a cave, go on in there, that's where he is"
So he went on up there to where the polar bear was, and he came back, his clothes were torn off of him, he had scratches, he was bleeding, his hair was matted, he said, "Man, that was tough, now show me this Eskimo broad you want me to kill"