Everything’s Big

There was a guy who was down in Texas, and he walked in the bar
And he said, "Give me a drink of booze there, bartender"
And bartender said, "Down here, everything is big, when you order one, you order a double"
So guy said, "Okay, give me a double then"
He downed it and had three or four, six more, and he moved, "Give me a beer"
Bartender set two beers in front of him and said, "Everything's big down here, we do it big
If you order one, you get two beers" "Okay then"
He said, "Which way is the toilet?"
Bartender said, "You go back here and turn right at the third door"
This guy went back, he turned left at the third door and walked into an area where the swimming pool was
He didn't know, he just fell right in it
And the bartender heard all this noise and ran back there and looked out the door
He said, "Hey, wait...", the guy then says, "Look, don't flush it, don't flush it!"

And another couple, a married couple—we have a lot of those...
What are you reading there? Hmm?
Don't make fun, hell, everybody gotta try to start somewhere
Would you rather see me here or in the park choking white babies?
You rather see me coming into your home on television or through the window?