Doorknob

There's a couple, they were celebrating their tenth wedding anniversary
And they checked in the same motel they went ten years ago, same room, everything was perfect
And they took off their clothes, and they looked at each other
And after giving the signal, they ran toward each other
And they had been drinking champagne, and they missed each other
And the cat ran right out the window
He fell two flights down in the yard, he was laying there stretched out
And bellman had heard all this noise, and he ran out to this fella
He said—fella said, "Hey, get me a blanket or something so I can throw it around me
I'm naked here, I gotta go back through the lobby to get back up to my room"
Fella said, "You don't need no blanket to get back through the lobby
You can just walk right on through 'cause ain't nobody in the lobby"
He said, "What you mean ain't nobody in the lobby?"
He said, "Well, everybody left the lobby to go upstairs to watch them take this chick off the doorknob"

Here's a poem that I wrote in the hospital
Paternal suits don't bother me
To the doctor I owe my thanks
'Cause since my operation, I'm only shooting blanks
From here on out, it'll be a 9-pound tongue

Kid asked his daddy, said, "Daddy, what's that cut between little sister's legs?"
He said, "What's that cut, daddy?"
Daddy stammered, he said, "Uh, uh, it must be where she fell on the hatchet"
Little boy said, "Well, mama musta fell on the Wilkinson's sword"