The Warworker

And then it was one guy, he was a guard over there in one of the factories
And every night, they had one of these big guards standing out front with a rifle
An automatic, checking people as they came out
And this guy would always come out with a wheelbarrow full of sawdust
This guy would stop him and inspect it
And pull the sawdust out and go all through it and pass him on
And every time he would stop and check it, he'd never find nothing
So after the war, they met each other on the street in Paris
He said, "Listen here, when you were working in the factory over there when the war was going on and used to come outside all the time with a wheelbarrow full of sawdust and everything, I'd stop and check, you could never find nothing?"
He said, "The war is over now, so tell me, what were you stealing?"
This guy said, "I was stealing wheelbarrows"
Then I was down in court Friday morning, I had to go down for a traffic ticket, you know
I got a hundred-dollar traffic ticket, I parked on top of an Oldsmobile
And something else I figured, I had just figured out why Robin Hood robbed the rich
The poor didn't have nothing
And once, it was a couple, they were celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary, and they had three sons
And the first son gave his parents a Cadillac, he was doing good
And the second son gave his mom a mink coat
And the third son sent a ten thousand dollar parakeet to the house
And he didn't show up hisself, but about three days later, he showed up
And he said, "Well, mom, did you get the parakeet that I sent you?"
She said, "Yes, we cooked it today," said, "but it was kinda small to go around"
He said, "Listen, you mean to tell me you cooked a ten thousand dollar parakeet that could speak nine languages?"
His mama said, "Well, he didn't say nothin'"
A woman went to her husband, she said, "Darling, I feel down in the dumps, and I think I'll go get me a new hat"
She said, "Every time I'm down in the dumps I get me a new hat"
Her husband said, "I was wondering where you were getting them things from"