The Lost Wallet

Have you noticed all these programs they have on television, everything is backwards
They have this program "serutan", spelled backward is "natures"
Everybody's going backward 'cause they have a new perfume out, it's called "Shh", spelled backwards "Hhs"
A fella here, he dropped a wallet containing his entire week's salary
And he asked me to make this announcement
He has a picture of his mother in that wallet with the money
And he wants whoever who found the wallet to know that the picture of his mother don't mean nothing, just bring that money back
I have a new sponsor tonight—in fact, I have three
But first, ladies, this is something for you if you wash your own hair
There's a new product on the market that's called by what it actually is—Sham Poo
It's called Sham Poo because it is sham poo—takes the sham out, leaves the poo in
I'm also here through the courtesy of McKinley's Funeral Homes
Come down and do business with us, won't you?
Take advantage of our new layaway plan
Just think, our company has so many extra offers
For 25 dollars more than top cost, you can ride up front with one of our drivers
Come on down—when you do business with us, you're doing business with people that dig you the most
Next week, we're having a one cent sale—just think of it, a one cent sale
If you die next week, you can take a friend along with you for a penny
I went down, they had questionnaires that you had to fill out to get a job
Any of you fellas out of work, you go down there on 4th and uh—I couldn't name of it
You see a big sign down there, they want you
One question in the questionnaire was, "When will you be able to go to work?"
And a fella was sitting next to me filling out his questionnaire, he hushed me
He said, "Hey, how do do spell 'rat'?" I said, R-A-T, rat
He said, "No, no, no, I don't mean that mousey kinda rat, I mean, 'right now'"
Christmas is wonderful
A guy called me tonight, said, "Foxx, Merry Christmas," he said, "Let me have ten dollars"
I said, "What?", he said, "Let me have ten dollars"
I said, "I can't hear you"
An operator cut in, she said, "Sir, your line is very clear, I can hear you"
I said, "Well, you let him have ten dollars"