The Lone Ranger

I was in a picture recently and the money was pretty fair
I said that it wasn't big money, it was the regular size the have of money but it just wasn't too much
I made a picture for MGM and RKO—rice, kale, and onions in Mitchell's Grocery Market on Jefferson
The picture was a Western, the scene opened with the Lone Ranger and Tonto riding the plains
They were riding hard, and the horses were snorting *snort, snort*
And they looked up ahead, and it was five thousand Indians charging 'em from the north
The Lone Ranger said, "Tonto, what will we do?"
Tonto said, "Ug, we head south"
They rode south, pretty soon, five thousand Indians were charging from the south
Lone Ranger said, "Tonto, what do we do?"
Tonto said, "Ug, we go east"
They rode east, and pretty soon, five thousand Indians had surrounded them from the east, ten thousand from the west
They were surrounded by Indians, Lone Ranger said, "What do we do, Tonto?"
Tonto said, "Ug, what do you mean 'we'? Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba"
It was an Indian—see, I'm from St. Louis but they had a few Indians on the outskirts
And this Indian in my hometown could remember anything that you could—anything at all that ever happened
One guy came to town once, he didn't believe the Indian was true
And walked over to the Indian, he said, "What did you have for breakfast in 1906?"
Indian said, "Me have ham and eggs"
This fella said, "Ah, this is a fake, this guy don't know what—anybody would have ham and eggs early in the morning like that"
So he went away and he stayed about 12, 14 years, and he came back and this Indian was still standing down at the train station selling gum and pencils
And he walked over to the Indian, just wanted to speak to him 'cause he hadn't seen him 12, 14 years
And we walked over to the Indian, he said, "How?," and the Indian said, "Scrambled"
I remember when we first got in the paratrooper, this fella here tonight was in the paratroopers with me
I remember when the sergeant first gave him instructions
Said, "Look here, you guys, I'ma tell you how to use a parachute
You jump out the plane, count to ten, pull the ripcord, and your chute'll open and float you down to safety"
And this guy that's here tonight, he didn't hear the sergeant too well when he came in our fit
And beside, he stuttered when he talked, and he walked over to the sergeant, he said
"Sss-say, sss-sergeant, how, how, how, ss-sergeant, how high, how high di-di-did-did-did, did you-did you-did you, sergeant, how high did you, ss-say, say we, ss-say we, how high did you say we, did you say we was, sss-supposed, supposed, supposed, to-to-to to count, to count, to count, to count to?
The sergeant looked at him and said "You better count to one"