The Revolutionary Costume for Today

[EDIE, spoken]
Oh, hi! Thank heaven you're here
You look absolutely terrific, honestly
Mother wanted me to come out in a kimono so we had quite a fight...

(singing)
The best kind of clothes for a protest pose
Is this ensemble of pantyhose
Pulled over the shorts, worn under the skirt
That doubles as a cape

To reveal you in capri pants
You fashion out of ski pants
In a jersey knit designed to fit
The contour of your shape
Then cinch it with a cord from the drape

And that's the revolutionary costume for today
To show the polo riders, in khakis and topsiders
Just what a revolutionary costume has to say
It can't be ordered from L.L. Bean
There's more to living than kelly green
And that's the revolution, I mean

Da da da da dah...

(spoken)
Just listen to this: The Hamptons Bee, July, 1972:
"The elderly bed-ridden aunt of former First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy
Mrs. Edith Bouvier Beale..."

My very own mother, can you imagine?

"...and her adult daughter, Miss Edie Beale
A former debutante once known as Body Beautiful Beale..."

They called me Body Beautiful Beale, it's true -
That was my whaddyacallit, my uh ... sobriquet

"...are living on Long Island in a garbage-ridden, filthy 28-room house with 52 cats
Fleas, cobwebs, and virtually no plumbing
After vociferous complaints from neighbors
The Board of Health took legal action against the reclusive pair"

Why, it's the most disgusting, atrocious thing ever to happen in America!

(singing)
You fight City Hall with a Persian shawl
That used to hang on the bedroom wall
Pinned under the chin, adorned with a pin
And pulled into a twist

Reinvent the objet trouve
Make a poncho from a duvet
Then you can be with cousin Lee
On Mr. Blackwell's list
The full-length velvet glove hides the fist

And that's the revolutionary costume for today
Subvert the CrisCraft boaters, those Nixon-Agnew voters
Armies of conformity are headed right your way
To make a statement you need not be
In Boston Harbor upending tea
And that's a Revolution, to me

Staunch!
There's nothin' worse, I tell ya
Staunch!

(spoken)
S-T-A-U-N-C-H

(singing)
Staunch women, we just don't weaken
A little known fact to the fascist pack
Who comes here for antiquing'

Da da da da dah...

(spoken)
Honestly, they can get you in East Hampton for wearing red shoes on a Thursday?
And all that sort of thing
I don't know whether you know that, I mean, do you know that?
They can get you for almost anything ?
It's a mean, nasty, Republican town

(singing)
The best kind of shoes to express bold views
Are strapless mules in assertive hues
Like fuscia or peach, except on the beach
In which case you wear flats

When I stood before the nation
At Jack's inauguration
In a high-heeled pump, I got the jump
On Jackie's pillbox hats
Just watch it where you step with the cats!

And that's the revolutionary costume pour du jour
You mix 'n' match and, Presto!
A fashion manifesto
That's why a revolutionary costume's de rigeur
The rhododendrons are hiding spies
The pussy willows have beady eyes
Binoculars through the privet hedge
They peek at you through the window ledge with guile!

We're in a Revolution!
So win the Revolution with style!

Da da da da dah