The Girl Who Has Everything

[NEWSCASTER, spoken]
In a statement released today
Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis confirmed
That her eighty-year-old aunt, Ms. Edith Bouvier Beale
And her adult daughter, Edie
Are living in squalid conditions in an East Hampton estate known as Grey Gardens
The house that once played host to Howard Hughes and the Rockefellers
Is now a refuge for fifty-two stray cats, a few rabid raccoons
And its two reclusive inhabitants
All living in an environment the health department calls
“Unfit for human habitation”
Mrs. Onassis described the situation as a “private family matter”
And so we’re left to ponder
How could American royalty fall so far so fast?

[EDIE, spoken]
I found it, mother darling, I found your old record!

[RECORDING OF EDITH]
She is the girl who has everything

[EDITH]
Everything

[RECORDING OF EDITH]
She has the world on a string

[EDITH]
On a string

[RECORDING OF EDITH]
Meltingly lovely
As pure as the morn
Venus reborn
Taming a…

[EDIE, spoken over the recording]
Isn’t it wonderful?
God, aren’t you just mad about your song?

[EDITH, spoken over the recording]
I recorded it in 1941
I was very serious about my singing, loved it

[EDITH & RECORDING OF EDITH]
…unicorn

She is the girl who has everything

[RECORDING OF EDITH]
Carry her off in her prime
Her youth’s evanescence
Makes haste of the essence
Of the girl who has everything but time

[EDIE, spoken over the recording]
You sang this song for me
I was the girl who had everything

[EDITH, spoken over the recording]
That’s ancient history

[EDIE, spoken over the recording]
Yeah, everything minus the ring

[EDITH, spoken over the recording]
I don’t think people should get married
I don’t believe in it at all

[EDIE, spoken over the recording]
Well if you can’t get a man to propose to you
You might as well be dead

[EDITH, spoken over the recording]
I’ll take a dog over a man any day

[EDIE, spoken]
You lived, I never lived

[EDITH, spoken]
You had your dancing, you were very good at that
And you had music all the time

(singing)
She is the girl who has everything
Talent and beauty

[EDITH & EDIE]
Sublime

[EDIE]
The crowds and the clamor
Aroused by her glamor
Will fade like the echo of a chime
She’s the girl who has everything
But time!