The Bachelor

[Segue]
We are gonna be all right
We gonna be all right
We’re just in a fight right now
We’re just in a fight
And, when you’re in a fight, big thing, you got to stay consistent
We got to stay consistent, ladies
Especially us, That’s right

[Main Bit]
So, you know… You can’t be out there at the Women’s March, “Fuck Harvey, yeah! Equal pay! Yeah, we got to get equal pay!”
And then be like, “Ooh, girl, I got to get home and watch The Bachelor.”
No... The Bachelor cannot coexist with Time’s Up, Me Too.

Can’t have it, No
The only time you hear, “Me too,” on The Bachelor is if somebody says, “I have chlamydia.”

Got to let The Bachelor go
I know some of you are like, “Well, Wanda, it’s just entertainment. It’s a TV show.”
Yeah, I know. But it promotes bad behavior, and it makes women look stupid, It’s got to go
Got all these women, you know, all these women gathered, trying to all vie for this one little shitty dude
And he’s actively dating all of them right in front of yo' face
And you know he’s sleeping with all of ’em
And the women just standing around like… “When is he gonna fuck me?”
“When do I get my one-on-one?”

[Pre-Segue]
I have more respect for strippers than I do for women who go on The Bachelor, I do
What the hell?
And then they try to make it like it’s some fairy tale
You know, with the rose ceremony
Oh, if he wants you to stay, he’ll give you a rose
I say bullshit...
I want them to show it for what it is
Instead of the rose ceremony, I want them to line all the women up… and if he wants you to stay, he will tap you on your forehead... With his dick.

*Mimes holding a dick with a microphone*

“Oh, yes! Yes! I’m staying! I’m staying, yeah!”