Porn Stars

Shit’s not normal

The president is in litigation with porn stars
With porn stars!

Come on, that shit’s not normal
What the fuck? And everybody’s like, “Well, you know, that’s just what we doing now.”
Really? We’re putting up with this bullshit?
We were outraged when President Obama wore a tan suit to work
That was the bar back then, “Oh, how dare he come to the Oval Office so casual, in a tan suit?”
People were disgusted because one of the greatest first ladies we’ve ever had, Michelle Obama…
She went sleeveless, “Oh. Oh, how unbecoming of the First Lady to wear no sleeves, to show her arms.”
Really? You gave Michelle Obama shit for that, Really?
You can Google Melania’s titties right now
Yeah, I did it
I bet you the Obamas must be beside themselves
They must be... They must be beside themselves
I can’t… Could you imagine, like, all that shit that they went through for eight years and they’re watching all this bullshit just go and everybody just turns their heads toward it?
I mean, what the fuck? I bet you they’re in bed, watching the 11 o’clock news and Michelle looks over at Barack and is like…

“N i g g a.”

“Porn stars? Really? We gonna to talk about the porn star now.” She done put that in the book.
But I was confused, I was confused by the whole situation
The whole porn star thing, because first of all, I was like, “Who is admitting that they fucked Trump?”
That’s what I need to know
Who’s going to admit that?
And then all of the hush money thing, I said, “Okay, wait a minute. Okay, hush money was exchanged.”
And, then when I saw Stormy Daniels, I was like, “Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You mean to tell me he paid her?”
I thought she paid him to shut the fuck up
‘Cause that made sense to me
If I fucked Trump, he came to me and said, “Okay, I’m going to give you, um… 130,000 not to say anything,” I’d be like, “Bitch, I was about to give you 250.”
Shit, If I ever fucked Trump, I’m telling you, I’m taking that to the grave.
That’s going to the grave... and beyond
I’d be walking around Heaven, I’d look Jesus right in the eye…
“Huh?” “What? Me? Wasn’t me, Jesus.”
“You must have turned too much water into wine that day.”

But, you know what? I believe that everything happens for a reason
Everything happens for a reason
Because of Trump being president, we sent more women to Congress than ever before
That’s because of Trump, Thank you, Trump
All kinds of women: African-American, Native American, Asian-American, Muslims, yes
It’s funny looking at Congress now, all those beautiful women in there and all those old white guys
It looks like the cast of Cocoon… Meets the cast of any Shonda Rhimes show.