Russia

[Segue]
You know, y’all, I- I really thought I knew my country
I was like, “I really…” I was like, “I know America, I know who we are.”

[Bit 1]
Right? I really thought that
But nope, fooled me
When it was confirmed that Russia indeed attacked us… They… They interfered with our election (That’s right)
I said, “Oh, shit, here we go, Here comes the America I know and love. Here we go.”
‘Cause this is what we do, when we are attacked, we stop the bullshit and wе unite. That’s what we’re supposеd to do, right?
It’s like when Cardi B is beefing with Nicki Minaj… And then Taylor Swift pops off
Cardi B and Nicki are like, “Okay, Nicki, we’re gonna put this on pause, right? And let’s go drag that hoe.”
“Okurrr”

But we didn’t do that
I was waiting for it
I was like, “Oh, shit, here come the crazy, Here we go.”
I thought for sure… I was like, “Uh-oh, there ain’t gonna be no more Russian salad dressing.”

“We gonna to start booing Russian hockey players.”
I was like, “Oh, boy, Uber’s gonna be missing a whole lot of drivers.”
But no, none of that happened
I’m like, “Y’all, Russia attacked us.” And everybody’s like, “Yeah, but have you had a Moscow Mule? They are delicious.”
It’s like… It’s like we’ve forgotten history
Russia hates us
We broke up the Soviet Union
We broke up the Soviet Union
We gave them Boris Yeltsin
Boris Yeltsin was a drunk, He was a big embarrassment as a president for them
But it makes sense now, we gave them Boris Yeltsin; they paid us back with Trump

[Bit 2]
Forget that, We forget all about that shit, and Russia, they sneaky
Them some sneaky motherfuckers
Who else would think of those little stacking dolls? What the fuck is that? All those damn nesting dolls
That’s some sneaky shit

“Oh, here’s another one”
“Open it again”
“It’s another one! And another one! And another one!
Okay, this is the last one, right? God damn, there’s another one!” “Y’all are some sneaky motherfuckers. God damn! There’s another one! Wait, this is the last one? This the last one? Wait, wait a minute. Ooh, is this the pee-pee tapes?”

Sneaky