Please Come to Our House

[The phone rings. TRINA is on the phone.]

[MENDEL, spoken]
Hello?

[TRINA]
Dr. Mendel, please

[MENDEL, spoken]
Yep, this is Mendel Weisenbachfeld.​

[TRINA]
Dr. Mendel, vis-a-vis what Marvin did
Or rather, hasn't done

[MENDEL, spoken]
Trina, how are you?

[TRINA]
You must exorcise a devil
'Cause it inhabits Marvin's son

[MENDEL, spoken]
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.​

[TRINA]
Please come to our house
And talk a bit with Jason
It's a slight exaggeration
But he's sick in the head
Oh, sure
Sometimes, you'll think he's wonderful
But he's wild
I'm sure he's Marvin's child!

[JASON]
What should I say to the man?
Should I be mean to the man?

[TRINA]
Just be yourself

[JASON]
I'll be myself?

[TRINA]
Stop asking questions, be yourself

[JASON]
I'll be myself!

[TRINA]
Don't be disgusting, be yourself!

[The doorbell rings. Mendel opens the door. He shakes hands with Jason.]

[JASON]
Hello to my house
So good of you to travel
On account of my unraveling
Now let's eat some food

[MENDEL, spoken]
Let's talk.​

[TRINA]
I think, before the food gets cold

[MENDEL]
Time to jaw
First, I'll extend my paw

[Ridiculously, chivalrously, he takes Trina's hand. Spotlight on their hands.]

I think she's holding it so tenderly
I'll probably faint
If so
I'd rather die in this position
Than remain the saint
You think
You know
I'm not
Although
I must be showing better-than-the-norm restraint

[TRINA, MENDEL, & JASON]
Oh, what a lovely table
Such a romantic table
Knives in place
Lots of space
To spread out and eat
Notice how our eyes discreetly

[They look. Cat and mouse.]

[MENDEL & JASON, TRINA, ALL]
Please come to our house (Please come to our house)
The dinner's on the table (The dinner's on the table)
We will talk if we are able to (We will talk with you)
But probably we won't
We sit

[MENDEL]
The kid looks pretty miserable

[He puts an arm around Jason.]

[JASON]
Uninspired

[MENDEL]
Ugh, ain't that the truth?

[TRINA, MENDEL, & JASON]
We're tired!

[Jason moves Mendel's arm away.]

[MENDEL]
I think the room looks just a wee bit small

[TRINA]
This girl agrees

[MENDEL & JASON]
Adieu

[TRINA]
I'll wait outside
And hold the food

[MENDEL]
I do not eat at all at times like these

[TRINA]
The worst is through

[MENDEL]
There's work to do

[TRINA]
I'll wait

[MENDEL]
She'll wait

[JASON]
They'll wait

[TRINA]
I'll wait for you

[Trina exits with the table.]