Dave Chappelle
Dave Chappelle
Dave Chappelle
Dave Chappelle
Dave Chappelle
Dave Chappelle
Dave Chappelle
Dave Chappelle
Dave Chappelle
Dave Chappelle
Dave Chappelle
Dave Chappelle
Dave Chappelle
Dave Chappelle
Dave Chappelle
Dave Chappelle
Dave Chappelle
Dave Chappelle
Dave Chappelle
Dave Chappelle
Dave Chappelle
Dave Chappelle
Dave Chappelle
Dave Chappelle
Yep, ladies and gentlemen, these are dark.. dark, dark times. New York Times said that Louis CK jizzed on his own stomach.
Now, I’ve busted a lot of nuts in my day. None of them were newsworthy.
Shit was really gross. ‘Cause they didn’t just say it like I said it. They didn’t just say, “Jizz on the stomach.” They said it in that fucking Pulitzer prize-winning style that the New York Times has. It was very descriptive, like, you know what I mean? “Louis CK’s semen shot out like a volcano of misogyny , slowly drizzling down like lava , covering his freckled penis as it slowly dripped to a fiery crown of red hair.”
Like, Jesus Christ, I’m trying to eat some huevos rancheros, and this nigga is…
And you know the tough part of being a comedian is knowing the motherfuckers. Everybody comes up to me like, “Did you know? Did you know what Louis was doing?” “No, bitch. I did not know.”
The fuck you think we talk about at the comedy club? “Hey, how was the weekend?” “Great, man. I was just jerking off in faces and cumming on my own stomach, having a good time. You know how this business is.”
No, I didn’t know. They act like we sit around like Grease.
Tell me more, tell me more Did she put up a fight? [hums melody]
Sorry, I don’t know the choreography, but you get the point. You get the point.
Shit was intense.
Dave Chappelle released Newsworthy Nuts/Tone Deaf? on Wed Jan 03 2018.