Feeling My Age

I'm old. I’m 44 now. Right. It's the first time in my life I've ever started to physically feel my age. You can– It’s tough, man. You know how I know I'm getting old? This is embarrassing, but… I was in my hotel room. I was– I'm not gonna lie, I was jerking off. And I was really sweating it out. And this is when I knew I was old. I just gave up in the middle like nothing even happened. I don't like looking at my dick anymore. My dick looks distinguished. It's old. An old-looking dick. It's got salt-and-pepper hair all around it. My dick looks like Morgan Freeman in the '90s. Without the dots. My dick narrates, “Dave pulled me out and started jerking me around. Jerking me around. But not with the same vigor as when he was young. He and I both knew nothing was coming out.”