Happy Noodle vs. Sad Noodle

[Verse 1]
Happy Noodle led the sort of life the working stiff dreams about: driving a Studebaker, making pies with his wife, taking a dip in the old swimmin' hole
Yessir, Happy Noodle had it good and he wasn't complaining
He always waved and smiled and tipped his hat
And said "Nice weather we're having"; regardless of the weather
Now, as most protagonists do, he had an antagonist, a polar opposite, bent on nullifying his happy existence
His name was Sad Noodle; a pathetic excuse for an egg-and-flour mixture (with a little extra water, just for tears)
He worked in a successful firm and was under a lot of stress, and this is the story of their ultimate battle

[Chorus]
Happy Noodle versus Sad Noodle
Happy Noodle versus Sad, Sad Noodle
Happy Noodle versus Sad Noodle
Happy Noodle versus Sad, Sad Noodle

[Verse 2]
One day, as Happy Noodle was out mowing the lawn with a smile and a song, an Edsel pulled up in front of the house
It was Sad Noodle. He leaned his ropy head out the window and said "Look. Happy Noodle: I'm sick of being your polar opposite
You know, sad all the time and what-not. It makes it hard to get along
I've come to challenge you to a duel to the death."
So Happy Noodle put down his mower, and obliged, saying "If it'll make you happy!" and Sad Noodle cringed
He hopped into the back seat and they were off to the gravel pit, Happy Noodle singing all the way and Sad Noodle driving like a madman
"This'll end it all!" thought Sad Noodle
And they prepared for the fight. Strange sight: two noodles standing face to face, one smiling and one frowning

[Chorus]
Happy Noodle versus Sad Noodle
Happy Noodle versus Sad, Sad Noodle
Happy Noodle versus Sad Noodle
Happy Noodle versus Sad, Sad Noodle

[Bridge]
Thinking on his feet, Sad Noodle used his head
As a whip and tried to trip Happy Noodle but he slipped
And he flipped face-first on the ground with a sound
Like a wet noodle slapping the ground kind of sound
Then Happy Noodle wrapped Sad Noodle up around a tree, said "See Sad Noodle, don'tcha mess with me 'cause I be the baddest noodle there will ever be, because I'm happy!"

[Chorus]
Happy Noodle versus Sad Noodle
Happy Noodle versus Sad, Sad Noodle
Happy Noodle versus Sad Noodle
Happy Noodle versus Sad, Sad Noodle

[Verse 3]
So after Happy Noodle untied Sad Noodle, they got back in the car
Sad Noodle, defeated, dejected, depressed, dropped Happy Noodle off at his door and said "You know what? I don't think that helped me very much."
And Happy Noodle said "Sad Noodle, why don't you come in for some pie?"
And Sad Noodle said "No, I'm sorry. I don't like pie all that much, but thanks all the same."

[Chorus]
Happy Noodle versus Sad Noodle
Happy Noodle versus Sad, Sad Noodle
Happy Noodle versus Sad Noodle
Happy Noodle versus Sad, Sad, Sad Noodle