Third Time I Met OJ

The third time I met OJ Simpson— The third time I met OJ Simpson, I was doing great in life. I’d just finished the second season of Chappelle’s Show. Man, those were good days. I was playing a comedy club in Miami, The Improv. I don’t know if you’ve ever been, but if you have, you’d know the door for the green room is right on the stage. Can you imagine such a thing? If I walked out of the door of the green room, bam, I was right here, right from the dressing room. And I did that. I walked out, and the whole crowd was like, “Hooray!” And I looked– ma’am, as close as you are to me– I saw him as soon as I came out: The Juice.

And I saw recognition in his eyes, and it filled me with pride that he knew who I was. I didn’t acknowledge his presence because it was a white audience, and I didn’t want to start a panic. But I did my show. The show went great. I said, “Good night, everyone.” They all said, “Yay!” And I didn’t say nothing to OJ, but I just gave him the signal to let him know I knew he was there.

And I walked into the green room, and OJ was already in there! I was like, “How the fuck is this possible?” I was scared. And then my friends came in, and we all started talking. We sat down on the couch. And I’m just telling you what I saw with my own eyes. You can believe me or not believe me. But in my experience, OJ Simpson– one of the nicest men I’d ever met. He was nice to me. He was nice to my friends. The conversation was filled with warmth and levity, humor and wisdom. We talked for minutes, and then suddenly, the Juice said, “You know what? I’ve got to be going. But it’s good to see you again, and I’m glad things went so well.” I said, “Thanks, Juice.” And my friends said, “Yeah, goodbye, Mr. Juice.” They were new to the game. He said, “No. Thank you… for your hospitality. Good night, guys.“ And we said, “Good night.” And he just walked out of the room.

And as soon as the door closed, we all looked at each other like, “That nigga did that shit. Did you feel that? I could feel like… murder in the room.”